D-Side Dane’s Five-Hour Cocoa Butter Romp With Jodie Marsh

It’s usually the pin-up peddling their stories to the tabloids about bedding a British singer, but now D-Side’s Dane Guidan has turned the tables telling News of the World of his romance with Jodie Marsh. “When she said ‘Let’s go home’ she made it clear what I should expect simply with a look,” grinned Dane, explaining their first encounter. “It was very sexy. But the thing which really turned me on was when she started modelling all her sexy photoshoot outfits. She put on that belt which I’d seen in newspapers. And in the flesh it was TINY. We lay on the bed and she put on a Michael Jackson video. Things just started happening. Her boobs are real and they’re great. Because it was so hot the cocoa butter she wears all over started to melt. It was really sexy. I’d had a good few drinks, but I impressed even myself with my performance! We didn’t get to sleep until it was light. But I’m not going to give the sex 10 out of 10. I’d say eight. We’d both had a drink which affected our performance. She really liked my Irish accent and thought that was sexy. She made me talk to her while we made love. And I think she liked my hairy chest. She loved to rub her hands all over it.”