Alanis Morissette Surprises In Kimmel’s ‘The Pizza’
Wednesday night’s ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ featured episode six of Kimmel’s spoof of R. Kelly’s ‘Trapped In The Closet’ R&B Opera entitled ‘The Pizza’. The spoof, starring Kimmel and girlfriend Sarah Silverman, featured a guest appearance by Mike Tyson and Alanis Morissette. Read on for the episode’s lyrics.
Here we are me and her
And the former heavyweight champion
Of the world I look around A
And swallow spit and say to myself, ‘Damn, that was tasty spit’
Mike points his hand and and reaches for the trigger
I’m like what are you going to do shoot me
You don’t have fingers [he has boxing gloves on]
Then, Sarah screams
There’s only one fair way to settle this a fight to the death
I’m like, ‘Are you [ Bleep ] crazy?
He’s going to kick my ass’ and Mike Tyson smiles and says
‘I’ll put one glove behind my back’
He starts chasing me across the floor over the bed and around the room
He is shouting, ‘Jimmy Kimmel prepare to meet your doom’
Mike has ahold of my foot I’m trembling with fear
I scream back at him, ‘Don’t eat my ear
Or my leg I’m not made of chicken’
Mike says, ‘This isn’t worth it
I’m going to feed my pigeons’ I get up off the floor
And say, ‘Thank God that’s through’ and Sarah says, ‘Not quite
there’s one more thing’
I said, ‘Woman you best not be messing with my head’
She says, ‘If you don’t believe me just check under the bed’
And I walked to the bed
And I steps towards the bed
Now, I’m right at the bed
I look under the bed
Hold on to your sombreros
Here’s the craziest thing yet
Under my bed is singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette
Alanis says, ‘I’m sorry, Jimmy
But I’m taking your woman’
I’m, like ‘I can’t believe this you’re leaving me for a Canadian’
This situation it’s so ironic
It’s like rain on your wedding day
Or Jessica breaking up with Nick
It’s like a pepperoni slice but someone picked off the pepperoni
It’s like a guy with a week to live winning a year of Rice-a-Roni
Alanis says, ‘I think we understand
now, snuggle buns let’s blow this taco stand’
Sarah says, ‘Hold on there’s one more twist to this story
Not only is am I sleeping with Alanis but she’s my baby’s daddy’
It’s biologically impossible
But her baby’s daddy is Alanis