Britney Being Deflowered Tops ‘Countdown’

Britney Spears losing her virginity to *NSYNC star Justin Timberlake was the top story on ‘Countdown’ with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC on Wednesday. He spoke about the situation with Village Voice gossip writer Michael Musto. Read on for a rough transcript.

Keith: Now to our number one story on today’s countdown, on a day when the president accused his critics of trying to rewrite history. A vital portion ofur history has indeed been rewritten by one of our principals. Britney Spears says she is not a virgin. For years she had told the media that she was too, that she had remain chaste and would stay that way until her wedding night. Oops, this just in. The gyrating pop princess says she lost her virginity two years into her then relationship with Justin Timberlake. She says that is the only guy relationship with in her entire life. For reaction, return to the celebrity columnist of the village voice Michael Musto. Good evening to you, sir.

Musto: Hi, Keith.

Keith: How will this news affect life on our planet and the evolution of mankind?

Musto: Not at all, anyone who is shocked by this news was probably stunned when Richard Chamberlain came out a few weeks ago. This is not a shocking turn of events. I did not buy at all that Britney was a virgin. She admits this was concocted by her handlers, no doubt to create a dichotomy between her real life and her onstage persona. She’s pure sex on stage and they were trying to fashion her as a virginal person, a kind of little Mary Sunshine. In reality, Britney is somewhere in between. A living sexual person. I still don’t believe her. I don’t believe she’s only been with one man. She’s been linked in the press with people like Fred Durst and Colin Ferrell but she probably thought it’s middle ground to say I’ve had sex with one guy but I’m not a wanton woman either.

Keith: Everything is about merchandising. Marketers have taken over the world, we all know that. I just don’t know which way does the wind blow in this case. I mean, does the 21-year-old singer in really tight pants, does she do better, does she sell better as a virgin or as a one-man woman?

Musto: At this point she sells better as someone who has h had sex. It would be completely unrealistic to push a virgin of any age at this point. Debbie Reynolds is the only virgin left in America, ok? Britney had to admit it. Her virginal house of cards started falling last year when she was caught smoking. She said she never smoke or drank. Liar, liar pants on fire, hot pants on fire, by the way.

Keith: The degree to which the pants are on fire is the subject of the story here. Debbie Reynolds, that is a news story, because that affects the lives of her children, but if Justin Timberlake now comes out and says, this is not true, he doesn’t care what Britney Spears said, he wants to make it clear he’s a virgin, what kind of news story would that be?

Musto: That’s probably what he should do at this point to save his career, because this isn’t going to help him, being the person who deflowered Britney Spears. He needs to say, no, no, we’re just friends but she’s slept with a lot of other people meanwhile.

Keith: Well, when there’s more time and, of course, I think we’re going to have an NBC news special report later on the tonight, 60 minutes or maybe three hours’ worth, we will pick up where we left off. Michael Musto, an all-around good guy.

Musto: And a virgin.

Keith: Thanks. Now I don’t believe you. Thanks for joining us on “Countdown.” The show is a virgin. It’s only about six months old. So to the end of another “Countdown.”