Kerli updated fans on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) on Thursday (December 10), asking them what is the one thing they are the most proud of this year and the one thing they’re the most embarrassed of. Offering her own responses, the Estonian singer told readers:

I am proud of gaining my independence dealing with the music business and being able to put my foot down and not take any sh**. This is more than selling albums for me. This is what I live and breathe and I am absolutely not gonna have anyone who doesn’t feel the same way about it, work on it. Like I always say…I don’t want your pittyfu**, I want your whole existence. It’s all gonna come together… is coming together already.

What I am embarrassed of is my negativity. I find myself talking a lot of sh** and being overly critical about life and people.

And then I get very hurt when people talk sh** about me. So I guess It’s kind of stupid for me to preach the whole “what goes around, comes around” theory and not fully practice it. From now on, I promise to really make an effort to put myself in other peoples shoes before I pass any judgment whatsoever.

Now u…tell

Kerli checked in with fans on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) on Wednesday (November 25), talking about being a lover and a fighter. The Estonian pop singer writes:

It’s like there’s two of me.

One that has been hurt a lot. She is scared of things and thinks she needs to fight for everything. She thinks that unless she dwells in the deepest parts of her soul the whole time, nobody will take her seriously. That when everybody likes what she does, she won’t be respected. She’s a fighter.

And then there’s this other one.

Kerli updated fans on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) on Thursday (June 11), talking about how she’s feeling at the moment. The Estonian singer writes:

I feel like I’m being born.
It hurts so much.
Feels like I’m being pushed towards the light through a really narrow tunnel with spikes on the walls. When my movement, my actions, my words and my thoughts aren’t focused on the light, It’s really painful.
I still get stuck.
It’s hard to leave the warm darkness even though I know there’s a whole world out there for me to experience. For me to help change. Like many of us came to help with the change.

Kerli asked fans on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) to ask her anything, dozens have and she’s answered most. Responding to one fan to asked if people have ever tried to influence her to change her style of music, the Estonian pop singer responded:

Have they?

:D

Of course. Music industry is a hard industry to deal with, especially if your goal is not to make a lot of money but to just create from the purest, most honest place. But then at the same time, you would be silly not to use every possible way to get your music to people so…

Big labels don’t wanna take any risks and putting out this first album took me about 7 years. I wasn’t ready to put out anything for the most of it but I’ve definitely fought my fights to sound the way I do. And still, I feel like I could create such intense fairytale themes that the radio would refuse to play. It will all come. Right now I just wanna use all the ways possible to reach as many people as possible and if that means not making ambient music under this label, than that’s ok.

Kerli lashed out at Czech Airlines on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) on Thursday (March 5), angry after being charged for going over the weight limit with her luggage. The Estonian singer tells readers:

Can u believe this?
Czech Airlines just charged me like 500 dollars for like the smallest overweight in the world. I can’t fu**ing believe this. They are offering really good prices and then completely rip off people with their 20 kg policy.

That’s like how much my mom makes every month and my flight was probably only half of that.

FU** YOU, CZECH AIRLINES

I totally shot the messenger and throw a mini fit at the airport.

But seriously. Come on people. Are you for fu**ing real?

Stuff like this just makes me so angry at the world and how everything is turned into a money making machine and nobody cares about people.

ugh.

Feels better already.

Kerli checked in with fans on her blog at MySpace (@demilovato) on Saturday (January 31). The Estonian pop singer tells readers:

The world is going through a weird time right now and so much is changing… I feel the earth shaking every night and I have been having these insane vivid dreams full of amazing symbols.
I am not scared anymore.

I think I have really made peace with the universe and myself. Talking about all kinds of spiritual matters isn’t interesting anymore. Now it’s time to live it. Not to wish for the obstacles to disappear but to completely accept them as the necessary part of our path.

We are becoming really beautiful now.

Kerli updated fans on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) on Saturday (December 13). The Estonian singer writes:

I felt so amazing when I posted my last blog but it’s just one of the laws of the universe that everything has to be balanced so for the past week I’ve faced a heavy depression. Almost the same kind that I felt when I was 17 and totally suicidal. I am over the killing myself phase since I’ve learned that everything will always pass but u know, feeling bad just feels…bad.

Lately I’ve been having some major anxiety problems. I got on the plane in New York and got off it because I was sure it was about to crash. I really wanted to tell everyone else to get off too, since I was absolutely convinced that they were gonna die. So they let me off the plane right before it was about to take off and I took the next flight. I guess they call it a panic attack which I’ve never had before in my life.

So now for the whole week, I’ve been kinda beating myself up over it cause I wanna feel amazing again. Being one with the universe and having love and acceptance towards everything just feels so freaking good.

Kerli checked in with fans on her blog at MySpace (@kerlimusic) on Friday (November 21). The Estonian singer tells readers:

I have always been really stubborn about everything I do artistically. Completely refused to sing other peoples music and I used to end up getting into a huge fight with pretty much every stylist I worked with. Recording this first album was such a pain in the *ss too, because everything had to be right. I think we had like five different mixing guys before it sounded right and I was on the phone in Estonia telling that if it’s gonna sound like THIS, I’m not coming back to the US.

But lately some things have gotten more clear to me. I just fasted for five days to get rid of any kind of negative thought forms and it brought me so much clarity and free space filled with excitement and courage.

One of the best songwriters in the world sent me a track. It was good but it wasn’t my thing.

Normally I would have blocked it right a way and wouldn’t have even thought about demoing it. But something in me is different now so I just told myself that it would be absolutely ridiculous to not go and AT LEAST learn something. There is a reason someone has had 100 number one hits and I haven’t, u know:)

So I went there and just had fun and she happened to play me another song which was just what I was looking for. So the universe sent me exactly what I’d asked for and I just had to go with the flow and receive it.

I learned that It’s SO important to be open to everything and never block anything unless your gut really tells you to.

The Universe hears you and takes you to where u need and want to go but sometimes the road there is very different from what we imagine it should be. It’s rocky and uphill and then downhill and there are all these things happening that make no sense but at the end of the day they make all the sense in the world because they indicated or were a part of your bigger purpose. So from now on I have just decided to have fun with my life and stay really open. I might even sing other peoples music:)

I love u guys.
So much!

k

Kerli is featured in Yahoo! Music’s ‘Who’s Next’, where the Estonian pop musician performed ‘Walking On Air’ and did an interview.

Kerli said growing up her parents didn’t listen to music, so she said that had made her a better artist, how ‘Love Is Dead’ and ‘Bulletproof’ were from a depressing time in her life, the false belief that she was formulated by a record label, looking forward to writing a “way more experimental” second album, and how she believes she’s found her place in the world.

“I always knew that I was going to be a singer,” Kerli said, “because that was my dream, was my out. I come from a little forest of 5,000 people, but I had a dream and I believed in myself and worked my ass off, and I just want to inspire people with my story and show that everybody can. Yeah, you can too.”

On her sound, Kerli said, “While growing up my parents didn’t listen to any music, so not having to hear a lot of music has made me a better artist. I never wanted to do anything that other people have done before. I always followed my intuition and just write how I feel.”

Video of the performance and interview at Yahoo.com has since been removed.